The Value of Honesty

From a young age we discover the convenience of lying. With a simple twisting of words, a slight omission of details, problems seem to disappear. Suddenly, we avoid punishment for our wrongdoing. With these few words, we can conceal our true thoughts, cover our true motives. While we all use white lies, or lie by omission, throughout our lives, some people never break out of the habit of using lies to constantly push situations to their favor. Certain types of lying can degrade what others think of us, destroy our relationships, and hold us back from living our life to its fullest potential.

I am guilty of a kind of lying that could be considered a lie by omission. It is the type of dishonesty in which you hold back telling someone the truth to spare their feelings or avoid confrontation. Instead of being upfront with people about things that bother you or revealing your true feelings on a subject, you sugar coat the situation to make it seem as if nothing is wrong. What we should be doing is striving to be honest in every situation. A person’s behavior will not change if they are not confronted with the fact that what they are doing is alienating those around them. There is no way for people to know you are unsatisfied if you always keep your mouth shut out of fear of hurting them or starting a fight.

I have always ran under the incorrect assumption that it is better to be easy going and accepting than to voice your true feelings. My desire to be peaceful and understanding thus encouraged others to take advantage of my kindness or continue to develop their negative personality traits. The other unforeseen consequence is that whether or not you can tell, people will eventually pick up on your dishonesty. If someone is always supportive, positive and kind, people will begin to not believe your judgement. When you develop the courage to tell someone the truth, despite its ability to hurt them or to call out their negative behavior, you will develop trust between them and you. They will take your thoughts more seriously if they know you are not trying to spare their feelings and they will be forced to examine their shortcomings when you don’t allow them to act negatively unchecked.

True deception can be the most destructive form of lying. When you lie to purposefully hurt another person, cover your wrongdoings, or to allow something evil to continue, you are actively degrading the world in which you live. Your deception is what is allowing negative actions to continue because the mere act of lying to cover something up means you are either ashamed of what is transpiring or that you know that if the truth were to be put out in the open, the problem would be fixed. Most of the time, that means the problem is you and your actions. You are committing some form of evil and you know that you would be held accountable if you didn’t deceive others. The list of harmful acts you can be doing is endless, but the truth is always the same; if you were doing what is right, something you can be proud of, you would not have to lie about it.

The last type of lie is one you may not even consider to be lying. This is when you are lying to yourself. One of my main focuses in these motivational writings is telling people they have the ability to be happy despite the shortcomings, failures and hardships they encounter. While that is something I strongly believe in and practice myself, there is always the possibility of deluding yourself into thinking that you need to accept the negative aspects in your life. You may have toxic people in your life, a job in which you are underpaid or underappreciated, or behaviors of your own that are not serving to better yourself. While we all have the ability to stay happy and hold on to hope though these trials, we should not lie to ourselves and believe that we deserve these negative people or situations. You know what serves you, you know what helps you find happiness and purpose. Don’t lie to yourself and allow your life to be dedicated to pursuits that don’t fulfill you. Don’t wallow in the poor fortunes that you will occasionally find yourself in. Know that things can always get better, youcan always get better, and that you have one life to find love and happiness. Settling for less is nothing but lying to yourself.

Dishonesty has many forms, but in all of its manifestations it represents an active betrayal of reality. By lying, you are destroying what is and all of the countless possibilities that could have come from your acceptance of truth. Your intentions may be good, but then you dissolve the bond of trust and mutual understanding you could have by honestly revealing your beliefs with someone. Your intentions may be evil, whether or not you believe them to be, for when you deceive others for your own benefit you are actively attacking their well-being or setting up your relationship for utter destruction. When it comes to yourself, and the relationship you have with your own mind, nothing could be more harmful than by lying to yourself, trying in vain to argue with your true path to happiness and fulfillment.

This month, I want you to make an effort to be honest with others and yourself in all aspects. Embrace truth and understanding, and see how great it feels to free yourself from the fake world of niceties and deception we too often live in.Share your Discovery!