Talking to Strangers

What is the first lesson you remember learning as a child? What was the first thing your parents impressed upon you of utmost importance? For many, that first important lesson was “don’t talk to strangers.” While an important lesson to impart upon defenseless and naive kids, we tend to hold on too strongly to this lesson of apprehension throughout our lives. Exactly when does it become okay to start talking to strangers? Of course at first our teacher is a stranger…the police officer on the street is a stranger, the doctors, nurses and paramedics trying to help us are strangers. So often we are told not to trust those we don’t know, while simultaneously being told to put our young lives in the hands of strangers. Certainly we are trying to develop children into discerning adults, who are able to see that some people are to be trusted, while others are to be kept under suspicion. This is a tool we all should develop as we age, but too often this distrust evolves into a general fear of anyone we are not normally exposed to. It can turn into prejudice and racism towards those of different ethnicities and nationalities. It can develop into classism, sexism and tribalism. Most deviously, it can be used to control us, constantly making us work against our own self interest in fear of the other. Unfortunately, it can also keep us from realizing a truth that is buried by those who wish to see us divided; we are all one, and our similarities, and good nature, vastly outweigh our differences and the evil among us.

A wave of the ugliest side of this fear based rationale is washing over this country and many places around the world. The idea that being born with a certain skin color, or within certain imaginary lines somehow separates you so much from others that we can forget our basic humanity when they are in need. The Middle East has been ravaged by war, and now the same nations that dropped many of the bombs upon their homes scoff at the idea of letting in the displaced refugees. Latin America has been ravaged by drug wars, and the Americans whose government destabilized their nations for profit and whose dollars fuel the drug wars that engulf their lands want to build a wall and throw over those seeking a better life.

Who are these people we deem so evil, so unwanted because they were born on a different part of this small planet? Statistically, immigrants in the US, including undocumented ones, are less likely to commit crimes than native born Americans. Immigrants also greatly benefit our economy, starting businesses that employ native born Americans and other immigrants alike. So, if these people from other lands are less likely to cause harm when they come here, and more likely to generate jobs, wealth and prosperity, why are they so vilified? Sadly, it is a story that has played out many times before in our nation and around the world. Nationalistic politicians use fear mongering tactics to scapegoat “The Other” as the cause for the common mans woes. The identity of the other has changed throughout the years, but the goal has remained the same. Regardless of what race, ethnicity, nationality or religion was blamed, the goal has always been to pit common people against each other instead of realizing how they are being manipulated, exploited and enslaved. When you lose your job because your company opens a factory abroad, or gives it to an immigrant accepting a lower wage, who is to blame? Do you blame the poor, uneducated child of farmers who goes to the city and accepts a low paying job working in a factory making products for an American company? Do you blame the man coming to a strange country, accepting whatever wage he can to feed his family? Do you not blame the company that seeks out near-slave labor and pits us all against each other in a race to the bottom? When a man stands on a podium saying he will bring your jobs back, and then turns around and tries to sell you his product that he produces overseas with cheap labor, do you not see you are being conned?

Those of a different race, a different faith, or a different nationality all share one certain common denominator with you and your family; they are human. They are seeking to provide for their loved ones and to live safely, comfortably and happily. They want love and laughter and memories of time spent with their loved ones and friends. They are not your enemy. They don’t hate you any more than you hate them if you both don’t allow those in power to make you hate them. The overwhelming majority of people on this planet are good, loving beings. We focus too much on the warfare and crime around the world that we don’t see that the world is getting safer by the year. But even when it was at it’s highest, the amount of people who live their lives with no intention to harm another human being far outnumbers those who wish to harm. And many that do harm do so because of poverty, lack of education, or mental illness; all things that can be vastly corrected by a society that values helping out each other instead of shutting them out.

We have been through too many wars based on nationalism. We have committed too many atrocities based on xenophobia and racism. We have lived with too much fear and apprehension of others because of those that wish to pit us against each other for their own benefit. We need to see others for what we have in common rather than our differences. We need to embrace the free movement of people around the world and the spread of fair labor practices. We need to reject the idea that we become better by building walls and shutting ourselves off from an increasingly connected world. We need to start embracing the other, we need to start seeing the stranger as a friend we have yet to meet. We need to realize the power of empathy, understanding and love.

Don’t let others speak to you like you are still a child and tell you to live in fear.

Go ahead, talk to strangers.